Impossible to Stop
by bellakitse
Summary: It's not easy her mother says as she holds her. Loving men like them. October prompt Terra Nova LJ community.


Title: Impossible to Stop

Category: Terra Nova

Ship: Maddy Shannon/Mark Reynolds

Genre: Drama/Romance

Rated: PG

Word Count: 2220

Summary: It's not easy her mother says as she holds her. Loving men like them.

Author's Note: October prompt by crystalkei –Maddy and Mark's first fight. Not sure how much drama came out of it but I hope you like it.

… … …

"No." Maddy Shannon said forcefully as she stared at her boyfriend, trying to keep from shouting. She knew just outside her bedroom door was her family and if she knew her father, he likely had his ear pressed against the door. After four months of dating Mark Reynolds, her father was slowly coming around about the young soldier, toning down the teasing and threatening looks but he still had difficulty with letting them spend time behind closed doors. Maddy suspected that the only reason he hadn't found a reason to walk in yet was that her mother was outside, too, surely giving him looks every time he thought about ending their privacy.

"Maddy." Mark shook his head tiredly; a frown on his handsome face as he placed his hands on his hips, his posture tense, not surprising since they'd been going in circles since he'd arrived thirty minutes before. She crossed her arms, feeling a wave of irritation at his exasperated tone. "It's my job, Maddy." He tried again, repeating the words he had been saying since their argument began.

"No, you volunteered!" Maddy corrected. "You volunteered to go way past the usual posts, even when you know it will be days away to just _get_ there and that it's dangerous territories. Taylor didn't ask you, neither did Alicia. _She_ doesn't even want you to go, so don't tell me it's your job, Marcus, not when you're jumping at the bits to get eaten!"

She watched with narrowed eyes as his lips twitched at her words, instead of charming her like they regularly did, his small smile annoyed her further. She just knew that he was trying hard not to laugh.

"I'm not jumping at the bits to get _eaten_." He started again. "It's my jo-"

"Volunteered!" She shouted, interrupting him again, feeling foolish as she stomped her foot but even as her cheeks heated, she couldn't stop the childish reaction.

"Okay, fine!" He conceded, his own voice rising as he ran a frustrated hand over his cropped hair. "I volunteered for this assignment, but that's because I don't want to be on a lookout post for the rest of my life. I don't want to always be at the bottom of the food chain."

"Food chain being the correct words when a dinosaur eats you." She shot back, her tone sounding infantile to her own ears.

He spoke her name, this time not even bothering to hide his smile. "Maddy."

"Don't!" She growled, no longer bothering to lower her voice, her family could hear for all she cared. "Don't say my name or call me pet names and then smile or laugh like what I said is funny or I'm crazy when I'm mad at you."

He took a step towards her, reaching out only to stop as she took a step back, not wanting his hands on her at the moment. He lowered his hand, letting it rest at his side, she watched as his jaw moved as it clenched while he let out an audible breath pass his lips. "I get that you're scared for me and that you'll worry."

Maddy huffed at the pacifying tone he tried to take with her, making her feel like she was the irrational one while he was calm and collected. "If you really got that, you wouldn't go."

Mark let out a huff of his own for a moment, losing his quiet persona, pacing as he muttered under his breath before stopping in front of her, his face turning serious as he went into soldier mode. Usually her stomach fluttered with excitement when he shifted into this persona. She loved that he was strong and capable, ready to defend her and others. It was one of the things she loved the most about him, how his abilities made her feel protected; but right now, knowing he was moments from leaving the safety of the gates with only those abilities to keep him safe, she wished he was something else. Why couldn't he be a farmer?

The beeping on the data pad on his wrist broke her train of thought, alerting them both that it was time for him to go. Mark pressed on a button to stop the noise and looked at her silently. She knew that he was waiting for her to say that she was okay with him going.

"Maddy…"

"No."

He gave a resigned sigh and whispered a _'fine'. _He stepped forward once more, this time not pausing when she tried to retreat, placing his hands on her shoulders before she could take another step backwards. Leaning in, he brushed his lips over her cheek.

She closed her eyes, biting her lips to keep a frustrated sob from escaping as he whispered that he loved her and turned to leave. She watched through the open door as he said a quiet good-bye to her parents, sparing her one last look before he was gone from her sight. She walked forward, ignoring the worried looks her parents gave her. The loud clank the door made as she slammed it shut did nothing for her mood.

Neither did the days that followed, there was very little and then zero contact coming from Mark and the small unit that went out. Unsurprising since they were going far deep into the jungle past the regular communication outpost that Terra Nova had out there. With each day Maddy felt her original anger leave until all there was was the worry and fear that had made her angry to begin with. Her father and brother gave her wide berth after the few times they had asked if she was okay had ended with her glaring at them. Her little sister, not really understanding what was going on, only that Mark wasn't around and that she was sad took to giving her comfort the only way the little girl could with innocent hugs that tested the resolve Maddy had to not break down and cry. Her mother hadn't uttered a word about the situation, simply giving her looks that spoke of complete understanding.

The days turned into a week and Maddy was sure she was going insane. She sat on her bed, staring at nothing, her mind going through every possible thing that could happen out in the jungle that crawled with predators both of the animal and human variety. She pressed her forehead into her raised knees, breathing deeply through her nose, trying to keep the anxiety attack that was threatening to rise up at bay. She didn't acknowledge the door opening, but smelling the sweet flowery smell fill the room, she knew it was her mother. She felt the bed dip as she took a seat on it, too.

"You know when we first got here and Commander Taylor put your father on agricultural detail, I couldn't have been happier." Her mother spoke softly, her accented voice soothing her a bit. "I didn't say anything but I was ecstatic, finally something _safe_."

Maddy slowly raised her head, looking at her mother as the older woman gave her a half smile. "Then not even a day here and the sixers where attacking and your father was in the middle of it with a gun in his hand, not even a _day_ here and he was a cop again. We huddled together; you, me and Zoe and I watched as your father held that gun and it was like being back in Chicago in 2149 with him coming home with bruises, cuts, gunshot wounds…days when I wondered if he would come home at all or if we would get a call that told us something bad had happened to him. It's like having your heart in your throat every moment of the day."

Maddy swallowed thickly, the tears that she had been holding at bay welled up against her will at her mother's words and the tender look of understanding she was giving her. "Does it go away?"

Elisabeth shook her head sadly, pulling her to her chest. "No, darling, it doesn't."

Maddy shook as her mother held her, every fearful thought that had been passing through her mind for days lying out in salty tears. "H-he said he loved me before he left." Maddy whispered, looking up at her mother, sorrow paining her face. "But I was angry that he was leaving and…I didn't-didn't say it back, Mom."

"Oh...darling." Elisabeth breathed, hugging her daughter again, closer and stronger, holding her like she had when the girl was younger, rocking her softly. "You'll say it when he comes back."

"But what if…"

"Maddy," Elisabeth interrupted the doubtful question before it could fully form, cradling her daughter's face in her hands until she was sure she had the young woman's attention, "You'll tell him when he comes back, okay?"

Maddy took a shuddered breath, nodding shakily as she tried to return the smile her mother gave her. "Okay."

Elisabeth gave her another smile, one that was almost wistful. "Heroes, darling, it's not easy loving men like that, the ones who can't help _but_ help, who never stand in the sidelines even when they know it's safer, but once you love them it's impossible to stop."

Maddy let out a small laugh at the truthfulness of the words. "Yeah."

She sighed as her mother kissed her forehead. "There's a reward in loving men like your father and Mark, my darling."

Maddy looked at her mother as she smiled widely with a dreamlike expression that amazed her. "They love so much harder. To be loved by them…we are truly lucky."

That night as she shared her bed with her mother, wrapped in her warmth, she allowed herself to sleep without dreadful thoughts about dark jungles and the man she loved in it.

… … …

Callous fingertips gazing against her cheek roused her from her sleep and even without opening her eyes she knew who it was. She had felt his touch enough on her skin over the months in their private moments to recognize them. She sighed as she felt soft lips follow the fingers' path. She recognized those, too, from the heated kisses the two have come to share. She opened her eyes to find azure ones staring back. As she sat up, he remained in his original position, kneeling by her bed. She took him in: he was wearing the uniform she'd last seen him in but it had better days, the mud caked on it and the days he had to spend in it has made it dingy and she doubted that even washing it was going to save it. His face was dirty and rough from days of not having the chance to wash or shave. She realized he had just arrived and it warmed her from the tips of her hair to her toes that he came to her straight away.

"Hi." He spoke quietly, looking up at her from his crouched position.

She opened her mouth to say something, anything, but she found herself at a loss for words and, instead, she threw her arms around him the way she had wanted to do since he's been gone. Tension leaving her as his arms were more the ready to welcome her in and she found herself being pulled down to the floor with him as he cradled her in his embrace. She could feel the relieved breath he let out against her neck and she felt horrible as she realized that she made these last few days all the more harder for him.

"I'm sorry." He said as he pulled back enough to look at her while she held him impossibly close. "I shouldn't have left it that way."

She let out a shaky tearful laugh as her palms touched his face, sighing when he leaned into it further, kissing the center of it. "I think that's my line."

He gave her a half smile, his eyes twinkling at her, shaking her head she heard her mother's words repeat. _'Impossible to stop'._

She held on to his face the way her own mother did the night before because like the older woman did with her, she wanted to make sure Mark heard her. "I love you, Mark, I'm always going to worry. I'm always going to hate it when you go out there and chances are it won't be the last argument we'll have about this… but I'll never again let you leave telling me that you love me without me telling you how much I love you."

He pulled her close, his forehead pressed against hers, his lips centimeters away from hers, his eyes closed as the last bit of tension left his body. He opened them after he'd taken a slow breath. They were as warm as beautiful as always, so full of love that her breath caught in her throat.

"Never again?"

"Never again!" She answered with absolute resolve.

The smile he gave before he sealed his lips on hers rivaled the sun in brightness and did not fail to cause a familiar flutter in her stomach. As he held her on the floor of her bedroom, hands caressing and lips kissing the last few torturous days away, she agreed with her mother.

She was truly lucky.


End file.
